So here I am sharing the journey with depression of a girl I know,by close quarters. She actually couldn’t even realize that eventually she is being trapped under this unseen disorder.
She sometimes did not get sleep for the whole night and her body feels tired, and her limbs choke,her eyes bagged her to sleep but her brain overpowers everything and thus, ends up spending sleepless nights. Though not sleeping till late night was a little common after starting graduation however, back then it was always to have fun with her pg mates and for studies in case there is an exam next morning.But,since past one year sleepless nights followed without any particular reason she herself wants to sleep but she couldn’t!. So it may be because of one of the incident she went through after her first year of college life. It’s regarding her liking a boy and eventually they met several times exchanged kisses but he actually did not love her.He just wanted a prolonged hookup where they don’t give consideration to anybody’s emotions and just indulge to fullfill their sexual needs. Being in love with the same boy she did not agree to his proposal, though deep down somewhere in her heart she so so wanted him to love her the way she loved him. However, things not always go as you wish and he was not actually in her destiny so God parted their ways quite early.
Further, she does not have any hatred for him, neither any grudges rather she respects the fact that he did not betray her by making fake relations and later putting all the blames on herself for being fool in her approaches.
But , before they finally separated they patched up quite so many times and each time she allowed him back in her life with a preconceived notion as well as hope that he also loves her no matter how little but he does. That’s actually was her biggest mistake may be.
However, she never let these feelings overpower her she found some of the ways to escape the very unpleasant situations of his remembrance. Home was one of the healing ground Althrough this depression phase because it’s vibes and people around make it a little easy to divert the mental thoughts. Some of the movies too helped her in gathering the courage to gain her previous situation,reading was also in the list of some of the productive task while she used to remember him. No doubt Depression kills you from the very inside,removes all the glitter but still it makes you to discover life from an another angle.Makes you more conscious and strong. I request my dear readers to find positive ways of escaping the anguish and pain you are going through.
So that’s it, She still remembers him every day, peeps to some of his photos often and makes herself convinced that she can’t do anything regarding this. The only option with her is to forget this person no matter how much long it is taking her to get over the things but she has to
That’s the only way we live life and focus on our other crucial roles.
She do not know weather they will meet in future just to have some words together sharing about their present lives etc.
At the end, she always want to wish him good luck for all his future endeavours. She wants him to be happy wherever he is. Also, she wants to apologize for every word she must have uttered when they were parting their ways just in frustration or in stark anger. Any thing which is said to him and made him ponder upon for long and made him anxious in any way needs an apology. She wants him to forget them if he can.
And she will be fine little by little but she will be fine anyways. That’s where the perfect enlightenment follows and the purest form of love.🙂