A head start A bold decision A new beginning A certainity even after being uncertain A conscious pull from the past A pledge to be consistent A promise to be a better human being A dream to live for A step towards acceptance An affirmation to be more humble An effort to polish your skills A power to apologise for wrongs A step towards healing A kick start to pious intentions
If this isn’t it… it’s a damage, a destructive force A delusional state , a dark arena The dumbest decision In all, a complete disaster.
जो तेरी याद मुझे बार बार आती है दिल ए गुलज़ार में एक आस देकर जाती है
ना कभी इश्क़ किया था तूने यह तो जानते हैं हम मगर उस पल की मुला़कात याद आती है
यूं तो हमने छोड़ दिया तुमको याद करना भी फिर भी दिल में तेरी तस्वीर नज़र आती है।
वादियों में भी ना अब रंग नज़र अते हें जोश गुम जीड्डो जहद ज़हन के शहज़ादे हे। यूं तो आशिकों ने हमको बहुत घेरा है क्या कहें दिल पर दुरुस्त बस उन्हिं का पेहरा है!
तस्साबुर जब कभी तुम्हारा होता हे ना हो अब इश्क़ कहकर दिल ज़रा सा रोता है।
इन मुस्ससल रंजिशों ने जबसे जकड़ा हे क्या कहें बक्या ही इतना तगड़ा हे
किस्सा- ए- दरयाफ्त इस तरह कीजिए हम थे उनमें बहुत मशरूफ तो क्या कीजिए।
गुफ्तगू बड़ती गई मिलना – मिलाना भी हुआ शोर गुल दूर कहीं इश्क़ – ए – झलक सा एक ज़माना भी हुआ।।
एक दिन यूं हुआ कि बात आख़िर छिड़ ही गई कहां थी दोस्ती तब्दील- ए- आशिक़ी में हुई।।
में हूं तुम में तुम हो मुझमें फक्र से मेने कहा ना मानो पूंछ लो इनसे मुख्तसर रात- दिन, चांद- तरे हैं गवहा।
में क्या चाहता हूं इल्म नहीं शायद तुमको ना आशिक़ी, ना चाहत वफ़ा से बैर है हमको
यह जो भी है तुम्हारे मेरे दर्मिया है दोस्ती, मुख्तसर हवस और बेतबियां जिदंगी ख़ुश नुमा है इस तरह से जीने में नहीं पड़ना है हमें मोहब्बत के सफीने में।।
फिर तो क्या सुनना था क्या कहना था ए सोफिया हो गए बेबरूह एकदम अपनी राह को बदल दिया
हम शुक्र गुज़ार हैं सभी बेहतरीन पलों के लिएं मुद्दा – ए – बुनियाद सच पर रखने के लिएं।।
ठान लिया गम- ए – शिकास्तगी पर ना बिलकुल रोएंगे हसीं मुस्तकबिल की लातिफ़ माला पिरोएंगे
जाओ तुम ख़ुश रहो, जहां भी जाओ तुम चाहो तुम जिसको भी , दिल से चाहो तुम।
Under the crescent white light In a red dress tight With the men of my dreams More then my height
Giving me a ride Like a sizzling sea tide His every romantic touch Making my heart beats twice
Intruding an old place With all lovable grace He hugging me tight, like a little Child We making all mini memories wild.
I wanna be his… The happiest niche Where maah prince rest, Without worldly glitch
I desire to be his.. White board plain Where he can write all his hurt and pain.
I want to see him Reaching great height And, I should be the reason Irrespective of cute fights.
Ohh my Prince… Something beautiful is awaiting That’s why may be, Our previous relationship were breaking
You won’t believe You princess have conceived A lot of hurt and pain indeed She gave her best To her past life test Yet gained nothing . but a sour, poky pudding
Let’s meet at a coast Or somewhere in frost, With all the impelling zeal To begin the life reel.
You would be enthralled to read that how arduously I wanted someone to utter those three magical words to me, on my face, with the deep conviction in his eyes, in a humble gesture, with a smile as if he got the most precious gift he asked for. However, that was not certainly you all. You would not believe how much painful it is to say ‘NO’ because I knew that will going to hurt you to the eternity, to be true I started to feel guilty about myself, I started to feel guilty to talk to you in the past even in the capacity of just friends. I felt guilty to post my some of the stunning pictures on social media because an over thinker like me tried reaching all the reason as to why it made you to fall for me. I felt guilty to post my happy stories on social media, because maybe that made you fall for me.
I too felt guilty to continue my “being genuine friend” notion.
I know, Some of you noticed my silence, my ignorance, my health, my very little action as to what dps I put on what’s app, what post I like , what I share
, when is my birthday, when I am free, When I got a little pimple on my face, when I look beautiful, when I look cute, what cute acts I do, how much I am not unaware of some vulgar words and phrases. What food I prefer the most, what looks good on me and maybe many other things which I left I mentioned.
I indeed wanted someone to notice tiny little habits of me, I wanted him to be my little world, Yes, I wanted him to know my choices as better as I know his or I would have known, I so so wanted to hangout a lot with him, wanted to go on movie dates, wanted to talk out things, wanted to surround my arms over his shoulder and make love to him, wanted to lie on green grass and make some deep conversation but not with all of you.
I went through a lot of thought process like neither I had late night messy chats with you, neither we hanged out much, nor I was much available but yes maybe available when you needed any help so what was it that made you fall for me?
but again I answered myself love happens out of nowhere as it happened to me with someone else, being on the same pedestal and still denying you all made me melancholy, but I had no choice but to spill out the truth, because that I ought to do as a person and not to keep you under dark hopes and false mirage.
To add on, One of you gifted chocolate on my birthday, another sketched my portrait, followed up with my friends to know about my well being. I am extremely sorry for not matching that spark of romanticism that you had in your heart because I had that spark for someone else.
I know you must have gone through a long healing process, may be for years if you really loved me hard, U must have resisted your temptations of having a conversation with me a dozen of times. It’s a great loss to me too that I lost some of you in the capacity of friends because having further conversations with you after your confessions made me uncomfortable more and friendly less.
Towards the end, I am sorry for the rejection but not sorry for the honesty.
Hear I wanted to share with you all my one of the experience lately, so right after 10th boards one of our relative asked me for my advice, for his kid, as to what stream he should pursue,
(He did not know that I had commerce stream, he just knew that I had been doing good in my academics since long so he better ask me about his kid too… )
So his kid scored between the range of 80 to 90%, after telling me all the relevant information he said,’’ I think that my kid should choose science because, commerce and Humanities are for low grade students.’’
Guess what, I was awestruck and what my ears heard is the mentality of almost 90%of Indians.
However, This shouldn’t be the scenario. I have numerous of examples where people did not choose science stream just because they scored well, fortunately I am one of them and I entirely proud of my choices so far without any guilt to follow my heart, I had the desire to do something in the field of commerce and finance, something in entrepreneurship so I headed with my choice to choose commerce. Like every Indian parents my parents too wanted me to choose science initially, so do my teachers as I scored 10/10 CGPA.
Being genuine to the roots, am not boasting about myself but I just want to put forward the fact that no stream is less or more everything has it’s equivalent significance,
To emphasize more, I want to mention one of my friend, Who happily choose Humanities even after scoring 10CGPA, because she wanted to go in to policy Making, she wanted to do something in social sector and to land her hand in framing the economy of the country.
This bashing for art side and commerce background is an utter disrespect to half of the people working in other sector and not specifically in science.
Anyone, who earns, generates an income, have to consult a CA every year at least once unless he has to face warnings and troubles from the Revenue Department of the country.
Tell me honestly, who doesn’t need a lawyer when its a deep imbedded case with a lot of argumentation involved.
As much we need the vaccine for covid-19 , so so much we need people to plan the other course of actions such as how it has to be distributed?, people are required to calculate the budget for the same, people are required to issue guidelines. To add on, as many numbers a CA and commerce student calculate all through their academic life, even if 1%of that amount gets credited in to your account, You might can become a millionaire.
Hope I became successful to a certain level in adding value to these crucial disciplines.
Well, let’s talk about how difficult it is to speak when all you feel is a heavy heart pumping gigantically and your neck feels gutted with uprooted anguish and disguised. You feel like the whole weight on you, You feel like not doing anything, You just want to sit back somewhere un uninterrupted , being lost and forget about the whole ambience around.
Further, It feels heavy to discuss things, to find someone reasonably understandable enough to vent out all that’s eating you inside making you hollow and still for hours, for weeks, for years in fact.
Thus, Keeping everything aside, I just wanted to tell you that you are much more stronger then what your pains are, these trivial things should not stop you from living, and experiencing all the bounties that life and future has in store for you. There is an another angle to life too, which you have lost the track of, their lives bliss, self-contentment, and the luxury of happiness.
Go peep in to it, find your solace, because no one can make you do that until you want to do yourself.
Here I explored some of the ways to surpass the unwelcomed pain giving intruders who overpower our brain and make us feel useless and negative about our self.
1)Whenever the situation of stillness arise try standing up and do a random stuff or any activity which comes to your mind, like go take you clothes out from wardrobe and start trying them up, it is not insane it’s therapy and it works, or go sit beside a small kid, or an old person they have a lot to discuss which can make you forget what’s going on in your brain. Well, these are only some Ideas ,in fact, you can have a hell lot of activities to pick or whatever gives you satisfaction
Reminder don’t always feel guilty for not being productive for that time being when what all you are doing is to take a step towards being productive because for being productive you should be mentally present, thus, measure your presence in the moment rather being somewhere physically and nowhere mentally
2)Open a comedy show on TV, on Phone, and book one if it’s manageable and affordable but don’t let yourself be the victim of what’s already ruining you.
3)Try counting people on whom you can count on, suddenly you will realize that there are so many people out there to give their ears to what you talk, what you say, what you discuss. Apparently you won’t feel alone ,fighting your own battles with some of unseen demons.
4)Try and repeat the fact that some things aren’t meant to be no matter how much best you try, but they don’t turn out in your favour. Thus, letting go of things is peaceful , better and calm in long run.
5)When we stick on to the things we stick to them for too much long that it becomes difficult to come out from that vicious circle, and we forget the fact that life is intriguing in its own ways.
6)Eventually you will meet the people who are tired of the games too and their loyalty will match yours, until then laugh at your confusions, ponder on to your unique self, put yourself first.
t’s pretty scary to know that people go through some life situations which make them still for a while, for years, for life infact, they just exist and forget living the way they used to back then.
So to all those gloomy souls Who are just existing and left their cheers in an unknown corner of their hearts which they don’t want to get back to because it’s even difficult to live again, it’s difficult to forget what they have gone through, it’s difficult to bring back that old cheerful you.
So here I tell you why you should make an effort to search your happiness which you lost over the time, whatever happened has happened already, you can’t change that but you can change what’s going to happen to you next, you can change the direction of your life boat. You are the manager of your Odessay make it a great cruise because, at the end you should matter the most to yourself.
Further, taking a break is okay even much needed in order to move out of the commulative thaughts however, delving in to the deep past and emotional hurt again and again can’t reduce it. Instead it intensifies.
I know a lady who went through a heartbreak and how long she waited for the man she loved , further,I also know a child who lost his father in an accident and how much he changed later , Things never transform in the way they used to be.They just alter and none has a control on them, try taking them as one side aspect and not the whole problem. For example if a lady was hurt that’s the only problem she had and the rest was in the normal pace, she had friends, she had her family, she was doing well in her academic life. Thus, she should have been greatful for what was in place , not what had fallen apart and broken, this is only the one aspect which wasn’t fixed rest all was awesome in its place.
I know our heart and brain don’t stop for even a while thinking about what has gone wrong with us however , In order to live life some wrongs has to be part and parcel, that’s what make some rights valuable and worthy to fall in to place.
Also, there was one girl who suddenly came across an Instagram account of another girl, she kept on watching everything on the feed and the stories she shared daily, apparently she become her secret admirer within few months, not only this, it become her daily habit to go through her account no matter how busy she had been the whole day. To add on, by Co- incidence that Instagrammer was going through the same life situations as the girl was, she had a break up with her boyfriend or you can say she was apparently unloved by the same person who loved her with full bounds somewhere in the past. Thus ,dealing this situation is non less then chewing the iron nuts but still, you have to accept the reality and move on, for yourself, for your peace, for self care and self gratification,
The way that instagrammer replicated and faced the situations made that girl strong enough to overcome what she had been going through.
Now think about the situation where that Instagrammer would have stopped everything because she went through a situation which involved an excruciating pain but still she kept going for her followers and apparently that girl who never knew her in person neither she to her. Despite that, the girl got inspired , got guts to face the odds, to keep moving, to keep spreading positivity and optimism.
Towards the end never make your worth too low, you never know who you are inspiring, who all out there getting a spark from what you practice. Be cheerful, Be strong, be hopeful.
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